The truth is what I wanted to is not only become a muslim doctor
but also become a respectable lecturer that student would get inspired from. I
like being a teacher… It is rewarding in the least. I like giving…
Although, I think
I have a problem with the only giving part… Hmm, true muslim would not have that
kind of problem right? I mean, just give.. that’s what the Prophet thought us
right? Hmm, I really should set my niat straight. I wanted to do it because I
wanted God to love me and for The Prophet to smile at me when he saw me in
Mashyar…
God, I don’t know the future but you do. Plus, you control
it. You can change a person’s future If you want to... I know that you love
your servant more than any love of humans capable towards anything else. You
are God. You are creator of Love. You are full of Love. Love me, God. Love us,
God. More importantly, Forgive me. Forgive us. Please accept us back God. We
were wrong.
Please accept us back God.
You have promised us heaven. You have but we defied you
then. And you forgive us then.
And human are capable of doing it again. And we need you to
forgive us again if we ever do it. And this is where human is weak. We need
you. We are weak and unable to fight against the ENEMY.
We are worthless and shameless. We do bad things and we
expect you to accept us again and again. We have done too many faults, too many
sins that I think the tears of fear and prays for forgiveness seemed is not
enough. It is not enough to pay you back for your kindness. And to guide us God,
we cant do it without you! Please God, have Mercy. Don’t let our lives be
wasted on this land of Lies. That’s what you call Earth right? Places of lies
and full of masked happiness.
We defy you, yet you
gave us love, you gave us Your air, Your food, Your creation. We turned our back
to islam, and yet You still loves us.
How can we not love You back, God?
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