Did someone say foolish wand-waving?

Let’s talk about making choices.

… and how they change your life forever.

Choices, choices darling… oh, how I love and hate making choices.

One choice that I make, for example is when I choose to LIVE. I think someone told me that all HUMAN have promised God during the ALAM ROH to live and serve Allah, right? Technically, WE are the one who ask Allah to live on this earth, right? And Allah GRANTED OUR WISH. 

Though, I think God gave us amnesia since we all could not remember any of it. I hope He returned back the memory when we die though, I mean, aren’t you curious? Just wistful thinking, nothing more.

Then I think back, hey, choosing to live is a big deal. A REALLY BIG DEAL. I mean, it’s literally a one in a lifetime opportunity, I mean; you live once and die only once right? .......just read on.

And then, to live as a khalifah and abd? Now, this is a GREATER deal than just living. I mean, try asking the mountain “hey, do you want to rule the earth for me, please, pretty please, with a cherry on top.” Guess what did the mountain say? “No, thank you.”

So, since there’s no turn back from this choice of living, what to do? Well since God have said that suicide is one way ticket to HELL, so, no thank you to THAT option. Yes, I am being sarcastic.

So, since we have to deal with actually living… lets choose a pathway that does not end with us BURNING IN CRISP in hellfire and only to be revive again to be BURNED IN CRISP again, shall we?

You remember whenever you do a survey you have a choice between YES, NO AND NEUTRAL/NOT SURE? But Akhirat darling does not work that way, there is no such thing as neutral or not sure or midline border, whatever.  God simply give you two choices: HEAVEN or HELL, TO simply BELIEVE or NOT TO BELIEVE.

So, yeah.

Then, the second choice is when I made up my mind to actually learn about islam. Okay, here’s the thing. Key word, actually learn. There’s no foolish wand waving or anything. Nada. I learn knowledge for practicality. I learn so that I know what to do. I don’t learn islam for exam, stupid really. Huh, that’s a thought, learn about islam, get 100 percent but actually are ‘ignorant’ about islam. What’s the point then?

But, learning medicine for exam, yeah, I don’t deny that, but not fully for exam of course. Hey, I’m still trying here.

So, when I attend Islamic lectures or something, I tried to really understand what the lecturer is trying to say and to NOT make this lecture like my PENDIDIKAN ISLAM class in my school years. No more.

For example, I still don’t understand the tidbits about ihsan. As in, I know the definition, but I don’t really ‘KNOW’ it. I mean, at least not enough to actually implement it in every second of my life (if so, then, I would not be sleeping in the evening)

So, when I attend usrah or something. I tried to make every second count.

 If, I found myself noticing that the ‘kakak’ is talking about the same thing all over again but I still don’t get the idea, then I would ask question, I would ask her to clarify it, I would ask her to give me example, anything so that I really understand the importance of it and so that I can implement it in my life, to make the information that I get in the usrah actually meaningful for once and not just some 2 hours lecturers of nothing.

And if I still don’t get it, we postpone with tasbih kfrah and surah al’ asr and continued this conversation later.

To really learn, that’s my choice. What’s yours?

So, before, I realize that my life is a meshwork of what-on-earth-am-I-doing. Then, I realize that I really need to get a life. Then, I make a choice. I make a choice to try and be better.

And if I didn’t make any choice, then what exactly am I doing? What are you doing, darling?