Unlike my friends, I am not exactly ecstatic to be there, but I am not exactly reluctant either. I had hoped that I could attain some experience and if not, maybe just to familiarize myself with the workplace. You know, to prevent culture-shock or something like that.
Somehow, that night in the hospital, the white coat felt heavy on my shoulder and kind of suffocating. From the moment I walked out of my friend’s car to the moment I entered the hospital, I literally have to drag myself towards the hospital. Of course, the fact that I was wearing additional of two layers inside and all my money and hp were in the coat’s pocket did attribute some weight… Anyway, I sort of felt the burden that’s I am going (if God permits) to bear if MD is ever going to be written beside my name.
Honestly, the moment I entered the labor room, I felt like fainting and running away. I don’t know how relief I am when my senior guide us out of the labor room. Of course, that fact disturbed me. I thought I could handle it, but I could not. Honestly? I did not dare to even look at her 10cm opening, and the blood that I know is there. I use my friend’s body as a shield. I only looked at the pained soon-to-be mother’s face and the worried face of the soon-to-be father.
They sort of remind me of my parents. Now I know why ONLY husband is allowed in the labor room. This is no room for little kiddies, well, except for the cute ones inside the mother.
Reminds me, I still haven’t told my mom and dad about the hospital visit.
Then, after a few moments I stopped being worried.
Why?
I quickly make a reality check. I am still a first year. I don’t have enough knowledge, and even enough experience to be there. I am just not quite ready yet. InsyaAllah, I will be ready next time. I just don’t let the fact bother me and prepare myself.
Reminds me, my next visit to hospital is on the 16/1/12. Only 7 days more.
Okay, maybe not the next times, maybe I’ll be ready the next, next time.
K, have to go and do my presentation…
p/s: my psychology notes are piling up and glaring at me for not studying them.
2 comments:
Fatin Nabila, MD. Hm~ it's got a nice ring to it. :D
That's a good reality check right there. Yeah, you're only just a first year at the moment, but you'll gain more experience as you go, I suppose.
Er, have fun? And, glare at your psychology notes back aka go read them! XD
Salam.
Nah, not really doing the practical, just visiting and have a look at my future working place. The first one's made by my senior. Second one is by my lecturer. The doctor said that this is a chance for us 1st year to really decide if we really want to work in the hospital.
Well, I am scared, by I am not backing out from this MD business. Pray for me will you?
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