Me, Myself and I

Peace be upon all of us.

Before that, let’s us go back to the equation that we learn in Mathematics (Form 4) entitled ARGUMENT 1:

Form 1: Human is selfish.

From 2: I am human.

Conclusion: Thus, I am selfish?

Or

Form 1: Some human are selfish.

Form 2: I am human.

Conclusion: I may be a selfish person?

Hmm, I still have yet to master this equation…. Even I don’t get what I am trying to tell u guys.

Anyway

I admit that I have been very selfish lately. I’ve neglected some of my duties with another human and also with Allah.

Truthfully, last two weeks have been rather depressing. Last week is my first ever mini-test as medical student. All the 14 batches above us went through the same first mini-test (FMT). A little bit of history about this FMT. FMT has the history of making medical students cry and ask for study-leaves. The first week I was here, most of the seniors’ advice me: Just, don’t cry if you receive a fail in your FMT okay? It’s normal.

The norm is that, only 30% out of the whole batch is expected to pass this FMT. Our batch, the AVANT-GARDE (roll eyes), about 72 out of 137 pass FMT. So, about (now, I am channeling dr. saad) 50% pass this FMT. Yes, congratulation to our batch for breaking the norm!

So, the last 2 weeks, books and books are all that’s in my mind. Sigh. I have sworn to myself that I would not be like someone who “study” all the time. Because, I KNOW that I would go crazy if I did. SPM examination thought me so much about studying and madness.

No wonder some meds students are so grumpy all the time.

(Honestly, if you have some friends who’s taking med, don’t be surprised and offended if they are grumpy all the time. They don’t mean it. Just, try to cheer them up. We need that.)

Plus, I have this tendency to compare myself with others. I know what my abilities and my limits are. Some people are gifted with more abilities and hardly any limitation at all. So, unconsciously I would compare and contrast, and most of the time, I am not happy with what I found out.

Not just in term of intelligent or in studying. But, other aspect as well… Yes, I am VERY grateful with what God has already given me. Alhamdulillah, but, as I have said in my previous post, human is very dynamic. It’s human nature that we kept on wanting to improve ourselves. So, it’s not wrong for me to want to improve myself.

I mean, InsyaAllah, I can do it, if I strive harder. I mean, the best of my classmates are human too right? I am also human, thus, why can’t I gain knowledge as easy as them? I can do it!

Just remember: usaha, doa and tawakal.

In term of selfishness… I sincerely apologize if I offended anyone. Not just during the past few weeks.