Me cat is dead

One of my cat is dead.

God, it is so depressing to do anything for the moment. I mean, labi is dead, just like that.

No warning, no nothing. Just one day, you are out going to Johor for holiday. And a few days after that, you came home and you found out that this happen.

So, l open my phone and check any video or picture that I have on labi. And it is not helping at all. God, I am so pitiful.

You know the one thing that makes me mad? It is that labi had to die alone. I am not there at all. I found the place where it died, it is full of furs and A LOT of DEAD WORMS.

You hear me? Dead Worms!

God, this is so depressing.

The five stages of acceptance. DABDA. Denial. Anger.Bargain.Depression.Acceptance. I practically skip the first three.

But, the way she died…. My father said that she died because of the lack of food. We did gave them enough food. We gave them one whole bag of friskies. The friskies could feed three cats for 2 weeks!

I blame the stray monkeys and other cats that stole the food from labi. But the food… god, the food.

Maybe, labi don’t eat the friskies. What if… Maybe If I…There are so many ifs. What if we let labi inside the house? What if? What if is no more, because she is DEAD.

Sometimes, I hate what God wants life to teach us. I guess that I need time to absorb it all.

I just hope that I could see labi again someday.

I want to believe that I will see her, labi again in heaven or at the akhirat. Maybe. InsyaAllah, Amin.

I want to believe that God is there with Labi the day she died.

I want to believe that Labi is not alone.

I want to believe that God is Merciful.

Only hope that prevents from acting negatively on this unfortunate event. Only hope.

Funny, only now I understand a little bit why some people say that ‘without hope, we die’.